Wednesday, November 11, 2015

"Five Years"

   The five year anniversary of my sobriety is coming up this spring. If asked even six years ago if I thought this fact was possible I would have said, "Why would I want to do that?"  Now that this momentous day has almost arrived I can't begin to fathom who I would be had I not stopped drinking. To put it simply, I wouldn't be a blogger.     
   Since I quit drinking I have a new confidence. I now acknowledge my talents and have a motivation to not only explore them, but share as well.  Mostly, I have several interests that require coherent thought and clear execution.  Oh yeah, and it's also nice to listen to music without getting all weepy at every slow song.  Basically, if I'm going to cry about something I want it to be worth the tears. Which admittedly, some songs are. 
   The last statement brings me to the real topic of this blog. Listening to music is undoubtedly one of the only interests I stayed loyal to throughout my many years of abusing alcohol.  My entire life I've been obsessed with, "listening to tunes."  I can spend hours zoning out to records and daydreaming little scenarios in my head. I was delighted to learn that this statement remained true even after I quit drinking.  Who knew staring at a wall and listening to Tears For Fears could be so much fun sober?!  
   Recently, I decided I would start a blog featuring the albums I'm listening to, the thoughts these songs provoke in me, and undoubtedly a bunch of other random nonsense that may pop into my head. I titled this blog, "Filling In The Gaps," because the majority of the music I find myself buying these days seem to be the albums I missed the first time around...when my thoughts were kinda fuzzy. Unfortunately, I feel like I missed a lot of things back then.  Keeping this in mind, I find it interesting how vividly I recall what I was listening to during those times.  Due to this fact, it just made sense for me to incorporate the topic of my sobriety with my passion for music.  
   Finally, during this quest to refine my vinyl collection I also hope to, "fill in the gaps," of my memory as well.  If not by actually recollecting the past, then by making new memories I can go back and read in the future.  I'm going to think of this blog as the sober girl's guide to Rock & Roll, or Jazz, or whatever finds it's way onto my turntable that day.  Sounds like a party, right?
   In closing, "Filling In The Gaps," is a blog about what this lady is listening to.  It's also a personal tribute to my five years of sobriety. It's strange, but writing this post makes me remember an ex-boyfriend of mine who once stated to me upon breaking up, "Never stop listening to music, Rayna.  You love doing that." I sometimes wish I could tell him, "I didn't." 

David Bowie performing, "Five Years":     

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